How I’d gotten here, to this place of 'The Nowhere Man' was a mystery to me.  It had started with a tape recorder in a box outside my door earlier in the morning.  I’d turned it (the tape recorder) on feeling slightly stupid for doing so, but now as I was walking through the forest I couldn’t help but notice how lush and green everything was; even the tree bark looked green or maybe that was just moss from the dampness caused by the waterfalls.

For ‘Waterfalls’ were everywhere, and their misty spray rode piggyback on the air molecules, it seemed.  The singing of the birds I heard next, then colors were unveiled, blue, red, yellow, green and white I saw; some swishing through the air, others motionless on tree limbs, but all singing, or chirping, a strangely familiar tune.  And as I tried to place it, these words came to mind; ‘we skipped the light fandango turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor.’

But, I had no time, as I was soon leaving the forest and moving uphill toward a large city that brought to mind the old actor who became President, who always talked of “a shining city on a hill.” I was on a road that although ‘paved’ seemed much smoother than any I’d ever traveled, and when as I expected, they diverged, I was sorry I couldn’t travel both, and though long I stood, I kept the first for another day, and took the other, toward the city on the hill. Along the way I noticed to my left a yellow wooded area, and I could see the other road darting into it; whispering ‘bye’ I continued my uphill trek.

Suddenly I came upon a small group of people, of which, none had a stitch upon their backs, and a' laughing as they passed me by; as I stood in some sort of amazement.

Further up the road, I saw a man standing by a crik, with a guitar, and he was playing a marvelous tune, and a smiling at me. Arriving into the edge of the city, I could see tall majestic buildings in the distance, rising into the airy clouds, while an airplane made lazy figure 8 loops in the air.  More people came into view, and as I steadied my feet on the pavement, I saw that they too, possessed no clothes, and even though I tried to avert my eyes I could not help but pick out the pleasant females with nothing on. 

Continuing on I passed a sign that proclaimed the city to be ‘Noisrevni,’ and though I seemed to have heard of it before, it was not with ease that I could put my finger on it.  But all thoughts in that direction fell away, as I stumbled upon a concrete clearing where little children were gathered at the feet of a solid white statue of a naked man, just as they, and also the beautiful woman with them were; she was telling them a story, the words I’d heard before but the story I couldn’t remember.

Standing at the edge of this gathering, feeling somewhat conspicuous with clothes and all, I strained to make out the words the woman was saying, but was distracted by an old man walking by who was wearing a white robe, and carrying a sign that said: “The beginning is Near.”

Following in his footsteps ‘we’ arrived at a large building what looked like a courthouse or some other public structure.  Looking at the expansive steps leading up, I saw two huge statues guarding each side of a set of glass doors, and upon closer examination I discovered one to be that of a naked man, and the other, a naked woman, both who were frozen in a pose with arms upraised and lips open as if speaking.

I watched as the old man carrying the sign entered through the doors, and as I stood undecided at the top step I suddenly heard the words being spoken: “Let nobody without pure love enter these sacred rooms.”

Before I could make a wrong decision, the old man turned as he swished through the doors and shouted down to me; “you’re not ready yet sonny boy.”

Suddenly in front of my eyes appeared another man, quite younger than my old friend swishing through the doors, and in the ‘whirl’ of the moment, my new young friend smiled and said, ‘follow me.’

We traversed back down the steps and moved along quite smartly down the road, which had turned, into a road with bricks, yellow in color, and as smooth as any I’d ever traveled.  A little man, perhaps a midget, naked as the proverbial j-bird, met us going the other way and all I could remember about him {later} was the 4 leaf clover he waved at me as he passed by.

My new young friend, did I mention he was nude, was speaking as I tuned into what he was saying;  “noisrevni city was built at the turn of the century and since has reported annual profits of 11 billion per year, population growth of 32 per cent, and zero crime.”

But, “hold on,” I finally said, realizing that these were only the 2^nd and third words I’d spoken in what must be the weirdest dream I’d ever experienced. “How can you have zero crime?”

“Well, he said, that’s a long story, and we haven’t much time, so I suggest you subscribe to our newspaper, ‘The noisrevni news,’ (a sister edition of ‘The New Residencia’) which will fill in the blanks for you.”

“Ok I say, as I open my eyes and look around at my bedroom, the table beside the bed with my empty glass of milk, and the plate with cookie crumbs in it, and wonder if I got my subscription order in – in time?